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chartyyc

Joined: 3/9/2010

well that is true

Posts: 2

Posted 8 years ago
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Abomination

Joined: 4/12/2010

Well my dear a lot of men are not afraid of commitment as are they afraid of the impact of divorce. I unlike most people, believe marriage isn't something you do for fun on the weekend. I believe in marriage but don't believe in divorce. Now by the distress, and the use of the word "men" I take it this has happened to you more than once. Some men do fear marriage that happens all the time some Women fear it just as much as men do. If it is you ask yourself these questions, how did the subject come about?.. If you bring it up it's usually a red flag to a guy (either he thinks your after something he's got, or it could just be to soon for him either way if it scares him off it's wasn't real love anyway)Why was it brought up?.. (this is what needs to be addressed in the beginning. Lack of communication is a killer, of all that is love. If you indeed want to marry, that's your goal in life/relationship. You need to address this in the beginning. So many relationships start off I was just wanting to fool around in the beginning, and all of the sudden switched to I wanna marry you mode.) Just because you changed your mind about the direction of the relationship doesn't mean he's gonna go with you on it. If you eat lucky charms every morning with no milk and all the sudden someone pours milk on it and tells you you have to eat it's usually not cool...So from the beginning you should let him know what could possibly happen that you want to happen. Now the word commitment has 2 definitions in a Mans world definition (1) a pledge or promise; obligation: definition (2)consignment, as to prison. Most of the time they see number definition (2) the most when the subject is brought up in a relationship reason being is natural it all stems back to their mom's that's why some men are called mama's boys mama thinks the worst and hopes for the best maybe you found a mama's boy or two with to much mama in em haha. Last but not least at all you need for any of the other two things to work...LOVE...Love is a very powerful word in the to the woman for women it means all of the things you obviously think it means...sugar spice everything nice for Men Love is often used to hurt for sexual gain and now with all these independent women money and objects too... This isn't true with all men but you might be trowing the word around to early if he isn't ready and this is important he may never be he shouldn't won't say it some men say it cause women like to hear it either way Slow down I know your getting older and you don't think you'll find the one in time but when you spend your whole life trying to accomplish one goal and one goal alone that's a sad sad sad life just like in a test if you don't know the answer skip that question and come back live life for you not some asshole you think exist.

Posts: 56

Posted 8 years ago
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mas8baller

Joined: 5/31/2009

Perfectlyflawed I for one have always sadly been one for commitment & if you believe in signs mine is dead on. I've always been shy but seemed to be the only one who could still talk to girls growing up go figure. I showed my feelings in actions & always being the best guy I could be.There are still some guys out there but they tend to be the shy type which doesnt always go well. Relationships are about compromise and while the world seems full of either men who are jerks or men who are too nice the fact is you may just have to choose between those two. Remember though in the end its easier to spice up a nice guy then to tame a dragon. My grandparents were married for 79 years til grandpa died after he passed my grandmother suddenly fell ill and never recovered even her doctor said it was the clearest case of death by broken heart he'd seen. My parents have been married for 40 years never divorced & right out of college. My mom's mother lost her husband in world war 2 but never dated or remarried again til she died at 100 always using her husbands name for 65 years or so. Times have changed & 5 years seems forever let alone a life time. Unfortunately priorities for people has changed now its more about career & sex.

Posts: 4

Posted 7 years ago
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Too7Much7Love

Joined: 5/27/2010

Honestly I don't think this is a men problem, I think it is a people and individual problem. Cause I have seen this behavior on both sides of the gender table. Generally will avoid commitment for 3 reasons. 1, they are not sure they are that into you. 2, they want to play with anyone and everyone so the idea of chosing one is simply foolish. And 3, they have emotional trama around the issue of trust and they scared the commitment will not honored by the person. It's too scary, they don't want to be hurt again.
It's usually one of these 3. But there are plenty more variables in the equation.

Posts: 65

Posted 7 years ago
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Too7Much7Love

Joined: 5/27/2010

Honestly I don't think this is a men problem, I think it is a people and individual problem. Cause I have seen this behavior on both sides of the gender table. Generally will avoid commitment for 3 reasons. 1, they are not sure they are that into you. 2, they want to play with anyone and everyone so the idea of chosing one is simply foolish. And 3, they have emotional trama around the issue of trust and they scared the commitment will not honored by the person. It's too scary, they don't want to be hurt again.
It's usually one of these 3. But there are plenty more variables in the equation.

Posts: 65

Posted 7 years ago
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KoolDudeNberlin

Joined: 6/4/2010

Reply to: LOL you obviously dont get much do you? I don't know any women who would listen...
LOL you obviously dont get much do you? I don't know any women who would listen to your BS let alone lay down with it once let alone more then that. It's because of morons like you that women are often hurt, insecure & in need of those words even more. Ladies no man is worth your tears & the one who is will never make you cry. This guy especially isn't worth your time let alone tears. You're not a man just a cowardly little boy trying to make up for short comings & his immaturity. 


what cliche, needy, desperate "nice guy" crap....way to transparently win favor of the females on the board... oh god... how inexperienced is this major loser?

I believe we call this "white knighting"... weak beta males trying to be alpha... make themself look to be the superior at the same time insecurily putting another down... lame, manipulation tactics

Posts: 707

Posted 7 years ago
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Too7Much7Love

Joined: 5/27/2010

Reply to: what cliche, needy, desperate "nice guy" crap....way to transparently win favo...
I think you misread that. He's not trying to gain some wussy favor. And even if he is going for gaining favor. It's no 'loser' thing to call someone out and stand for what you believe is truly right. And I have to say that there are alot of FAILURE men out there. If men stepped up to be real men women's problems would start healing IMMEDIANTLY. Bottom line: Men are the root cause of women's joy and pain. It's the truth, get over it. Start being a man and stand for something. I say this to every male on this site.

Posts: 65

Posted 7 years ago
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KoolDudeNberlin

Joined: 6/4/2010

Reply to: I think you misread that. He's not trying to gain some wussy favor. And even if...
I think you misread that. He's not trying to gain some wussy favor. And even if he is going for gaining favor. It's no 'loser' thing to call someone out and stand for what you believe is truly right. And I have to say that there are alot of FAILURE men out there. If men stepped up to be real men women's problems would start healing IMMEDIANTLY. Bottom line: Men are the root cause of women's joy and pain. It's the truth, get over it. Start being a man and stand for something. I say this to every male on this site.


and yet again another naive, inexperienced kid that falls for the cliche BS hook line and sinker... tell you what boy... ask the women I date what they think a real man is... Im certain Im just a bit more experienced in the dating world than you... but if your theories and concentration on idealistic concepts helps you sleep at night, so be it... just dont get too irratated when you are awoken by the sounds of a real woman's audible pleasures from a real man... good luck to you.

Posts: 707

Posted 7 years ago
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Too7Much7Love

Joined: 5/27/2010

Dude, you're opinion of what a real women and man is based on what the world says and what you've experienced. Mine differs with you greatly, not due to my age (unlike you would prefer to believe). But it differs because my definition of a real man and women is a concept and ideal that remains unshaken regaurdless of how many people do not exercise it. The world can populated with 1,000,000,000,000 + people and there not be one real man or woman on the planet. A real man and real woman are self evident to their value. You're basing what they are on majority vs minority. Call me naive if it helps YOU sleep at night. But reality is, you're so called 'real men and women' in the world right now are failing in every imaginable field. There is not one area for them to be proud in. They are like dust at the mercy of the wind. They are not established men and women. They blow from one place to another. They have no place, they have no face. They become what men tell them to be. We are like children attempting to capture the appearence of our parents. It is what we know.

Let me refraise this, I'm not going to say 'real man' cause that can be confused with 'natural man' and 'familiar/common man'.
I contest we must be honorable men and women.
It may be unfamiliar to many of us due to modern corruption and years of brainwash and indoctrination. When women and men become honorable, it is not a title of passage or a status of elitehood. It is when they stand for all that is good and true. Defend the helpless and stand against evil at all times and in all places. This may sound naive to you. I say we must be honorable men. Our time her for us and for our children will not last if we are not. Any civilation that has ever been on the earth that sacrificed it's principle and intregrity as well as forgetting the meaning of those words have perished and been destroyed. How many times must history repeat itself until we learn? You may not agree or even like what I'm saying. But what I have said is true. Don't take my word for it. Find out for yourself.

Posts: 65

Posted 7 years ago
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KoolDudeNberlin

Joined: 6/4/2010

more rubbish... like I or anyone else needs to ascertain what YOUR definitions are... if you are that critical and cynical (i.e. intolerance), its amazing that you can find happiness.

out of the 6 billion people on the planet, I do believe there are plenty of REAL people out there in which we all interface with on a daily basis.

then again, people's perceptions are based on their proximity, culture, experiences and social conditioning.... it differs greatly... and yes, there are happy people out there without so much criteria based on those people to associate. Honesty, dignity, self confidence, self assurance, independence, open, direct, broad minded... this is much easier to find and identify when one isnt focusing on how "bad society is today".... quite honestly, there was never a time that would define "the good old days"... its idealistic to think that there is some utopian human condition that has ever existed or will ever exist and that would satisfy every individual's perception.... its best to do your part.

Posts: 707

Posted 7 years ago
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Too7Much7Love

Joined: 5/27/2010

This is much easier to find when one does not focus on what is bad in society?... Why is it people in dormant slumber always have to dismiss the acknowledgement of both sides of the fence as pecimists (sp?) or hate speech?
There is alot of good in this world but there is also alot of bad. And I say in very sober spirit the darkness in the world is spreading and all the bad is getting worse. Idealistic to think that there is some uptopian human condition that has existed or existed? When did you stop studying history? Nothing is impossible sir. We can be better men. And you know it.
There is much heartache and corruption in the world due to black hearted men. Forgive me if I am intolerant of a man's persception when he says he murders, rapes, and plunders because he views it as a fulfilling and meaningful lifestyle.
It may blow your mind, but some persceptions are not only wrong, but are evil.
And why are they evil? Because they not only impose their will on others and take away peoples free agency, they kill and destroy others.
This is unacceptible behavior. It always destroys itself and others.
Not all persceptions can be regaurded equally sir. But you have to see with open eyes things for what they are.

Posts: 65

Posted 7 years ago
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KoolDudeNberlin

Joined: 6/4/2010

Okay, you are opening up another discussion entirely... please stay on point... this attempt to bring in "criminal or anti-social" behavior has nothing to do with what we are discussing... come on, Im not a political opponent, so no need to employ this tactic... you wont find anyone who will disagree with anti-corruption, evil, etc.

sorry, but no one is debating your stance on murdering, raping, plundering, etc. That is a bit over dramatic.

We are talking about people (not just men) progressing, evolving and individually being the best they can be... for themselves, not for anyone else.

The OP's original comment was more about the typical rantings of "where are all the good/real men?" (meaning that only real or good men are those willing to commit... although when she does comes across that, she is completely unattracted to such behavior)...

Posts: 707

Posted 7 years ago
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Too7Much7Love

Joined: 5/27/2010

(lol. to the last comment. They do tend to like those bad boys.
You'd be suprised what people there are in the world.
What I'm saying is that you cannot treat peoples perspectives equally.
Some perspectives actually inolve taking your life and destroying everything you hold dear. Anarchists for example. They believe in chaos and destruction. Anti anything and everything that has order.

All I'm saying is that there are two sides to every fence and extreme. So we really can't pretend we're all in the same boat on simple things.

Anyway, I'll stop drifting from the topic.

Dating strategy for the OP.
Look to find good men in good places. Yeah, it's not a 100% certain strategy (cause people will always be people and variate accordingly). But it will definately increase your odds.

Posts: 65

Posted 7 years ago
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mas8baller

Joined: 5/31/2009

It works both ways sadly. Women high tail it too just as much as men. I can't fault them they get bailed on & hurt a lot more then men. It's easier to spice up a nice guy then tame a dragon. The thing women have to understand is men are simple there's really just two types or speeds. Nice/slow or Jerks/fast & women are inbetween which is why they seem complicated & flip flop back & forth. The nice guys come off as simple reliable & sadly at times boring when it comes to pushing sex particularly. Perfect there's a reason their nice & take their time right or wrong it's generally because they actually care & you matter to them just as much if not more but again at times that's predictable & boring. Let's face it men are generally immature & realizing that there's more to life then cars sex & yes even breasts let alone a relationship takes maturity.

I know plenty of good guys & more then enough bad boys to know that women high tail it just as often. There was a time when people grew up kept their friends from almost birth dated one or so in high school & then married & lived ever after usually fairly happy. Now everything is materialistic & New York minute. One thing is true rarely will you find a good guy at a bar or club & their's a reason again for that. The nice guys need help adjusting to a woman's thinking & thus her speed but once he does she's happy. On the other hand guys love speed & fast cars & thus rarely will slow down which is why the bad boys are exciting & yet hard to get to slow down. Everyone gets rejected everyone gets hurt & everyone likes someone communication works wonders & I said if you like someone male or female tell them & if their mature they'll handle it & nothing has to change even if they feelings aren't there. IF they are then admit it too & work to a join conclusion. As much as guys may wish & think they can sex can't happen 24 hours a day & we're nieve thinking that but we do generally. If a guy doesn't push sex by a few dates women often right him off as gay / uninterested even though he's everything she wants even sexually attractive again there's often a reason the guy didn't push it but 99% of the time other signs are there to show you that he really does women just have to see them. The signs are there I promise just like deep down the signs are there that a bad boy is a bad boy for a reason too. And there's also a reason why their still called bad BOYS. No man is worth your tears & the one who is will never make you cry. Sex is great but at some point it ends & what's left is sitting on the porch rocking on your chairs talking about the old days & walking 10 miles both ways up hill through the snow.

Posts: 4

Posted 7 years ago
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mas8baller

Joined: 5/31/2009

Reply to: Okay, you are opening up another discussion entirely... please stay on point......
No she is unattracted to the lack of assertiveness, playfullness, even aggressiveness when it comes to sex other then that I would wager that she'd be just as happy with the guys you've called names simply for standing for something. Guys are selfish we don't need foreplay which is why most don't spend much time on it but even if she's all hot & bothered for you a woman wants foreplay its part of the whole emotional statisfaction she needs wants & gets from sex rough playful or old fashion love making. No one disputes how fun & wonderful sex is but as hard as we all may try we can't do it 24 hours a day everyday of our life at some point it isn't there & you're left with everything else for you I guess that's blogging.

Posts: 4

Posted 7 years ago
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RDins

Joined: 12/25/2010

You can't force it on them, that will make it much worse......

Posts: 29

Posted 7 years ago
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kompleatkaos

Joined: 1/17/2011

I'm afraid of COMMITMENT. Those doctors keep you doped up...:-)

Posts: 251

Posted 7 years ago
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